Is It Time To Spring Clean Your Tribe?

If you are a fan of Brené Brown, you may already be familiar with her lesson on Candle Blower Outers.

If you are not, let me enlighten you.

Brené Brown is an American research professor, lecturer, author, and podcast host who’s spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy.

In October 2021 Brené Brown filmed a series called Brené Brown: Atlas of the Heart where she explained what she teaches her children about Candle Blower Outers, she said she tells them:

“You’ve got this flame, and this is your spirit, and this is your soul, and this is your light, and sometimes it will shine really, really bright, and you want to surround yourself with people who when it’s shining bright, think, “Wow, what a beautiful light.” And you want to be the type of friend that when your friend’s light is shining on you, you say, “Man, that’s a great light.” And you want friends who protect your light. We don’t want to surround ourselves with candle blower outers. We want someone who has room in their life for our light because our light comes with us.”

Why am I as a Career Change Coach telling you all this?

Well, you see Brené Brown might have been telling a story about what she tells her children, but it is remarkably like the conversations I have with clients about their tribes.

Career confidence is like that flame, that light, and you want that light to shine really, really bright when you are considering a career change.

In fact, you want that light to be shining the brightest it’s ever shined in your life before you consider any type of career change, be that a complete career change, a career shift, or a career pivot.

Unfortunately, two things often happen at this exact time:

• Fear – just like the wind, fear can often raise its ugly head just when you are about to step out of your comfort zone, but I can prepare you for that breeze, and we can work through how you want to manage those gusts.
• Candle Blower Outers Appear – now I really wanted to break this to you gently, but I am just going to say it how it is. Not everyone in your tribe wants you to achieve a successful career change, shift or pivot and find career happiness. There I’ve said it.

Are you still with me?

One of the questions I often ask my clients when they are discussing their hopes and dreams for their careers with me is who is going to stop you from achieving this?

No one is the usual response at the start of our coaching journey.

The responses I get along the way and by the end are often very different.

The reality is that every now and then and especially before you decide to make any changes, shifts, pivots, or tweaks in your career you need to do an appraisal of your tribe. You need to ask yourself:

“Are there any candle blower outers in my tribe?”

Is everyone in your tribe going to support you, champion you, and quite frankly be all in to help you achieve your career dreams,

If there are any candle blower outers, I would respectfully suggest it’s time to spring clean your tribe.

Keep that flame of yours burning really, really bright.

Surround yourself with a tribe that is going to support you, believe in you, and be happy that you are pursuing your career dreams and will be there by your side to celebrate with you.

If you need any help to protect your light you know where to find me.